Illustration by Clover Hope

Want to learn how to do things? We’re here to help.

Doing things is hard. The key is to do them adequately. Below, we’ve compiled a list of how-to posts published on Adequate Man, and provided our own succinct answers for the existential questions posed.

You’re welcome.

How To Party Without Drinking

Don’t drink at the party.

How To Meet Her Parents

Look at them. Say hi.

How To Make New Friends As An Adult, And Why

Be nice—because.

How To Talk To White People About Blackface

Avoid doing this if you can.

How To Find Ethical Porn

Google “ethical porn.”

How Much Should You Spend On Rent?

However much you can afford.

Should You Always Tell Your Partner If You Cheated?

Yes and no...

Should You Upgrade Your Gym?

You don’t need to.

Is It OK To Order Delivery During A Snowstorm?

Always.

How To Get A Chill Cat

Get a cat. Don’t bother it.

How To Move In With Your Significant Other

Bring your things.

How Often Do I Have To Change My Pants?

However often you want.

How To Buy Lingerie For Your Girlfriend, Wife, Mistress, Or Whoever Else

Go to a store and buy some.

What The Hell Is That Orange Stuff In My Toilet?

Doesn’t matter, you’re gross.

How To Survive An Office Meeting

Try breathing.

How To Survive A Long Car Trip With Your Kids

Kill them.

How To Deal With Your Neighbors

Murder them.

How To Pack For A Very Long Trip

Bring enough items for the length of the trip.

How To Clean A Roach-Infested Coffee Maker

Clean it?

How To Charm Everyone At Your New Job

Be charming.

How To Say Goodbye To City Life

Leave and don’t come back.

How To Buy Groceries And Not Waste Them

Eat them before they go bad.

How To Manage Hypochondriasis

Chill out.

How To Crash A Party Like A Pro

Go to the party. Be professional.

How To Buy Antiques, And Why

Go to an antique store. Because they’re great.

How To Deal With A Hangover At Work

Stay home.

How To Housetrain Your New Puppy

Train it.

How To React To A Bad Person’s Death

Scream.

How To Beat Insomnia

Sleep.

How To Live Alone

Don’t live with people.

How To Climb A Goddamn Mountain

Not something you should do.

How To Not Be A Jerk On A Plane

Be nice instead.

How To Have An Actual Conversation With A Woman

Talk to her.

How To Be A Gracious And Fun Wedding Date

Be gracious, fun.

How Not To Hit On Girls At The Club

Don’t approach them.

How To Clean A Mattress, And Why

Let someone else do it. Because it’s dirty.

How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse (And Other Disasters)

We’re all gonna die.