Do you think shit is funny? Do you think it’s some kind of joke? “If you weren’t so fucking fat, Logan, you’d have no trouble rolling over,” you’d probably like to say. Or maybe, “I’m not sure you really want it, Logan.”

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But 31-pound Logan does want to roll over. And he wants to lose weight, too. Or at least, he accidentally diets sometimes out of fear. According to the Associated Press, his owners report that Logan “didn’t eat for a month once after a fight with a feral cat and lost a pound.” But it’s been a struggle. Here’s the AP again: “But it’s been a struggle.”

You see, 7-year-old Logan, whose weight doesn’t keep him from fulfilling his role greeting guests at his owners’ hotel, struggles with an unspecified “metabolism issue.”

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Please keep Logan in your thoughts.