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Popcorn is good and good for you (probably; it’s a plant), and its greatest feature is its chameleon-like ability to be topped by whatever quasi-liquid or slush-based substance you have lying around. “But, I have so many possible toppings in my cupboard and/or well-stocked fridge?” you might ask, “Which one do I pick?” Well.


  1. Salt and butter
  2. Sriracha
  3. Cinnamon sugar
  4. Furikake
  5. Garlic salt
  6. Carmel
  7. Old Bay
  8. Chili powder
  9. Cheese, solid-based
  10. “Kettle”
  11. Soy sauce
  12. Red pepper flakes
  13. Cheese, dust-based
  14. Lemon pepper
  15. Other citrusy substances (lime juice, et. al)
  16. Candy, general
  17. Green herbs and shit like dill or whatever
  18. MSG
  19. Chocolate sauce
  20. Getting hit by a car
  21. Nutritional yeast

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