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6/7/19
10:48 AM
6

It’s summer now, and you know what that means: time to pack up some beach clothes, a bathing suit, a cooler, a couple good books, a bag of plastic beach toys, the kids’ floaties, the kids’ bathing suits, several large towels, a beach umbrella, one of those plastic sand screws you use to plant a beach umbrella, the

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5/23/19
12:28 PM
7

I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected graduation day speakers,

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5/10/19
1:38 PM
1

Science says this is how you probably take a bath: You plug the drain and run the water to get it nice and hot. While the tub is filling up, maybe you put on some music, or a podcast, or even a sporting event. Perhaps you grab a beer or some wine or a book. Maybe you make some suds! That’s always fun. When the tub is

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4/5/19
2:30 PM
9

I grind my teeth at night. This is because I live in America, and every day living here tells my subconscious that it would be a wise idea for me to bite clean through my own jaw. I had no idea that I was doing this until years ago when my old dentist, a very nice man who would accidentally fart out loud while

3/25/19
2:24 PM
6

I have very few, if any, roommate horror stories scattered throughout my personal history, which means that I, like the oblivious sucker at a poker table, am likely the nightmare roommate in stories of OTHER people. Take my friend Fred, for example (not his real name). In 1999, Fred crashed at my studio apartment in

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