6/25/19
2:39 PM
3
Today, we’re talking about bathroom boogers, Law & Order, forgettable football teams, office beers, and more.
6/18/19
2:17 PM
4
Today, we’re talking about airport eating, shower clogs, germophobes, and more.
6/11/19
2:10 PM
1
Today, we’re talking about Steve Kerr, pillow talk, neglected foodstuffs, and more.
6/7/19
10:48 AM
6
It’s summer now, and you know what that means: time to pack up some beach clothes, a bathing suit, a cooler, a couple good books, a bag of plastic beach toys, the kids’ floaties, the kids’ bathing suits, several large towels, a beach umbrella, one of those plastic sand screws you use to plant a beach umbrella, the…
6/4/19
2:25 PM
5
Today, we’re talking about parsing online reviews, new candy bars, battered fries, oddly named Pennsylvania burgs, and more.
5/28/19
2:20 PM
2
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more.
5/23/19
12:28 PM
7
I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected graduation day speakers,…
5/21/19
2:25 PM
3
Today, we’re talking about bad bathrooms, breakfast in bed, rugby, Game of Thrones, and more.
5/14/19
2:15 PM
1
Today, we’re talking about J.R.R. Tolkien, OK symbols, plastic knives, beer cans, and more.
5/10/19
4:29 PM
4
Two of the better movie theater experiences I’ve had in the last few years were when I saw Hereditary in June 2018, and when I saw Avengers: Endgame in April. Hereditary was weird and terrifying and I loved it; Endgame was overlong and mostly bored me to death. What those theater-going experiences had in common is…
5/10/19
1:38 PM
1
Science says this is how you probably take a bath: You plug the drain and run the water to get it nice and hot. While the tub is filling up, maybe you put on some music, or a podcast, or even a sporting event. Perhaps you grab a beer or some wine or a book. Maybe you make some suds! That’s always fun. When the tub is…
5/7/19
2:18 PM
4
Today, we’re talking about old man farts, parking apps, Florida, road trips, cupcakes, and more.
4/30/19
3:40 PM
5
Today, we’re talking about Woj, golf nets, bank cafes, Ichiro, pizza rolls, and more.
4/23/19
4:08 PM
4
Today, we’re talking about science fiction, playoff seeding, mortadella, microwaves, and more.
4/16/19
2:20 PM
3
Today, we’re talking about Game of Thrones, pizza pilgrimages, movie knowers, bad candy bars, and more.
4/9/19
2:20 PM
3
Today, we’re talking about wallets, watching sports alone, asshole coaches, and more.
4/5/19
2:30 PM
9
I grind my teeth at night. This is because I live in America, and every day living here tells my subconscious that it would be a wise idea for me to bite clean through my own jaw. I had no idea that I was doing this until years ago when my old dentist, a very nice man who would accidentally fart out loud while…
4/2/19
2:10 PM
3
Today, we’re talking about pizza, worst places to die, the NCAA tournament, and more.
3/26/19
2:42 PM
4
Today, we’re talking about Scott Van Pelt, rich assholes in space, flipping the bird, and more.
3/25/19
2:24 PM
6
I have very few, if any, roommate horror stories scattered throughout my personal history, which means that I, like the oblivious sucker at a poker table, am likely the nightmare roommate in stories of OTHER people. Take my friend Fred, for example (not his real name). In 1999, Fred crashed at my studio apartment in…
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