Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Classic is the key word here. These days, you can probably get sushi at Yankee Stadium, and ballparks take particular pride in their unique offerings—as they well should. If you go to Citizens Bank Park to watch the Phillies lose and don’t get the Chickie’s and Pete’s Crab Fries, you’ve made a mistake.

Frankly, the only people who think that a pre-packaged hot dog pulled out of a metal incubator actually tastes better than one of the quasi-artisanal BBQ options available at Petco Park are probably also concerned that bat flips and Bryce Harper are evidence of the game’s degradation. But what is baseball for if not collective nostalgia?


After all, just because hot dogs got their reputation the same way Jack Morris did—by being sorta average in ballparks nationwide for a really long time—doesn’t mean they’re not culturally relevant.

A note: beer is not included, because I hate beer, but I recognize this as an Unpopular Opinion that should not be given too much credence.

1. A soft-serve ice cream sundae served in a mini plastic baseball hat.

2. Peanuts.

3. Pretzels.

4. Chicken tenders.

5. Sunflower seeds.

6. Nachos.

7. Cotton candy.

8. Cracker Jack.

9. Cheeseburgers. (Specifically, those served at generic stadium concession stands; a good cheeseburger is No. 1 all time, as foods go. This ranking is partially a consequence of high expectations.)


10. Talking to Goose Gossage about all the great new dining options available in modern stadiums.

11. Hot dogs.

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