Adequate Man

Here Are All The GOATS

Drew Magary — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:15:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about cheese, tacos, shitty drivers, LeBron, Jesus farting, and more.

A Guide To Getting Properly Intoxicated In The Wilderness

Brian Lauvray — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 16:31:00 GMT

Absolutely nothing beats soaking in the great outdoors, except maybe the satisfaction of enjoying a few brews or cocktails around the campfire with your friends. Whether you’ve spent the day hiking, fishing, rock climbing, mountain biking, or whatever, putting a few back and maybe even getting a little faded with a…

The Best- And Worst-Shaped States

Drew Magary — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 18:15:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about golf, cologne, Weird Al, rotisserie chicken, and more.

Never Take Your Kids To A Championship Parade

Drew Magary — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 19:11:00 GMT

I was not born or raised in the D.C. area but all of my children were, and so I felt it was my solemn duty as a Good Sports Dad to take them downtown for the Capitals’ Stanley Cup parade, the first major title parade to take place here in nearly three decades. This was a celebration that was unprecedented in scope…

An Extremely Mild And Pointless Defense Of Raisins

Drew Magary — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 18:42:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about bowling balls, BIG SCOOTER, urine, gladiators, and more.

A Good Plant: Ilex Opaca, The American Holly

Albert Burneko — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 17:34:00 GMT

It has been a rough year for my five little holly trees, transplanted last spring from a nursery to the muddy, weedy slope of the western edge of my home property, along the stupidly long driveway.

Fire Mark Jackson

Drew Magary — Tue, 5 Jun 2018 18:20:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about wiping, salsa, curing fish, and more.

Do Not Piss On Your Bathmat

Katie McDonough — Tue, 29 May 2018 18:10:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Drew’s back next week. Today, we’re talking about piss-soaked bathmats, lotion application, and whether or not football games last 12 hours.

Can Tom Brady Dunk?

Dave Lozo — Tue, 22 May 2018 18:05:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Drew’s gone! We have guest hosts. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about unathletic quarterbacks, urinal strategy, NBA tanking, and more.

Am I Gross For Sucking Snot Out Of My Baby's Nose?

Leigh Cowart — Fri, 18 May 2018 17:01:00 GMT

Welcome to Am I Gross? A recurring feature in which we tell you if you’re gross. If you’d like to know if something you are doing is gross, email our columnist at AmIGross.Deadspin@gmail.com.

Sure, Eat Pizza Sauce With A Spoon

Megan Greenwell — Tue, 15 May 2018 18:20:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Drew’s gone! We have guest hosts. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about what is acceptable to eat out of a can, alleged cheating in the minors, cursed flip-flops, and more.

Don't Cook Chicken In A Fucking Dishwasher

Tim Marchman — Wed, 9 May 2018 21:08:00 GMT

Earlier today, while waiting on my porch for some delivery guys to turn up, I checked in on what was happening in Deadspin’s work chat—my job requires me to surveil the staffs of the various Gizmodo Media Group sites to make sure they’re diligently working for the betterment of our corporate overlords—and immediately…

Down With Decorative Pillows!

Matt Ufford — Tue, 8 May 2018 18:11:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Drew’s gone! We have guest hosts. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about decorative pillows, office poop etiquette, and more.

Get Rid Of Video Review

Albert Burneko — Tue, 1 May 2018 18:15:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Drew’s gone! We have guest hosts. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about video review in sports, ethics in takeout dining, and more.

Do You Look At The Keyboard When You Type?

Drew Magary — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 17:48:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about cooking, tongue removal, Texas, and more.

My Enemies In Nature, Ranked

Albert Burneko — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 18:47:00 GMT

It’s more or less springlike now, pending yet another cruel and absurd outbreak of The Eternal Winter of 2017-18. Here in my absurd forest dwelling, spring means that we are emerging, pallid and blinking, to plant new trees and azaleas, to try with ludicrous and doomed vanity to restore some mowable grass to the gross…

Who Is The Greatest Old-Ass Athlete?

Drew Magary — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 18:35:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about shitty local announcers, eyeballs, scrambled eggs, and more.

Should A Sports Hall Of Fame Have A Maximum Capacity?

Drew Magary — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 18:01:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about aliens, pizza, headphones, the NBA, and more.

A Wise Homeowner's Guide To Acquiring A Rad Tool Collection

Pete Keeley — Wed, 4 Apr 2018 19:12:00 GMT

Hello. It’s me, a guy who made a “sound financial decision” and purchased a home. I may no longer be “throwing money away” on rent, but here’s the thing people always forget to tell you about owning a house: it presents you with an infinite supply of things to throw money away on. I’m here to help you, my fellow…

23 Things I Say To My Kids Every Goddamn Spring Break

Drew Magary — Wed, 4 Apr 2018 16:47:00 GMT

I am a dad at all times but Spring Break is when I am, without fail, at my MOST dad. It combines all the prime elements of flustered dadding: travel, overpriced food, renting things, lines, dealing with people behind counters, frantic searches for alcohol, and such and such. It’s not so much a vacation as it is a…

How To Survive Backpacking In The Wilderness

Brian Lauvray — Tue, 3 Apr 2018 18:54:00 GMT

Despite the parade of nor’easters that have recently struck the East Coast, spring has officially arrived, and with it comes the promise of camping and backpacking trips. But before you set out on your first backpacking trip of the season, let’s review the gear you should be packing and what condition that gear should…

What Sport Causes The Most Farting?

Drew Magary — Tue, 3 Apr 2018 18:23:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about the Masters, walking, goth girlfriends, steak, and more.

It Only Takes One Person To Raise The Volume In A Restaurant

Kelly Stout — Fri, 23 Mar 2018 20:50:00 GMT

Don’t let it be you.

Are Slow Jams Dead?

Drew Magary — Tue, 20 Mar 2018 18:20:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about the NCAA tournament, jingles, butter, stadium amenities, and more.

Let’s Pick Trump’s Final Four For Him

Drew Magary — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 18:00:00 GMT

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking NFL, old man gripes, vinegar, and more.