Restauranteur Seb Lyall claims his headline-grabbing establishment will be a place of “true liberation.” Along with their clothes, patrons will be asked to ditch their phones and other forms of photography so as to feel, “free from the trappings of modern life.” A Paleo-inspired menu, edible cutlery, handmade clay crockery, and candlelight are all part of an experience designed to “envelope its patrons in a Pangea-like world.”
It’s up to you to decide if this makes the whole thing sound more or less insufferable. Some people, however, are gobbling this concept right up. As of this morning there are 27,732 people on the waiting list to purchase tickets. We have some questions for them and for the restaurant itself.
1. Will anyone ever sit in the “non naked” section?
As you can see above, there is one. While it doesn’t really make economic sense for me to spend any time at all looking for stats on how many restaurants there are in the greater London area where clothing is encouraged, I think we can both agree it’s a lot. It’s likely that the others don’t have a 30,000-person waiting list, too.
2. Should there even be a “non naked” section?
If there’s anything more creepily voyeuristic than going to a nude restaurant, it’s going to a nude restaurant and not getting naked.
3. Wait a second, is that the point?
Consider that in an interview with the Washington Post, Lyall described eating breakfast at home in the nude saying, “It’s fun and sometimes the neighbors watch—fine, whatever.”
4. What temperature do they keep it?
Not just because the cold does no one any favors but also because layers are not an option.
5. Could you tell me more about the disrobing process?
There will be locker rooms. And robes, which patrons are (thank goodness) encouraged to sit on and gifted at the end of the night to prevent any apprehension regarding turnover. This is good. But I’m not sure “locker room full of naked people” is really the appetite-whetting sort of amuse-bouche they think it is.
6. How many dates until it’s appropriate to invite someone to join you at a nude eating establishment?
I’m sure Lyall would encourage whole family reunions to revel in his Pangea-like world. But let’s be honest. These are all couples on dates, right? Is this foreplay? If you’ve already seen each other naked, what’s the point? If you haven’t, do you really want to be eating the first time?
7. Could I get some more napkins, please?
8. How good is the food?
The five-course meal (plus robe) will cost around $80 to $90 and although very little media real estate has been dedicated to the food, it better be really good to merit that kind of waiting list. The price point certainly isn’t extreme (especially in London), but eating naked with the lights off is an easily replicable activity.
9. Seriously, you know you can just do this at home, right?
For free, too.